*Hears noises at night*: Well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I going to go on
*Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*A cop walks by*: Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
*Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school
*Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer
*Slips*: Well abyss of hell here I come
me in every single restaurant ever: i'll have the chicken fingers
toebyeus: I don’t lose followers, followers lose me
Middle of test with 100+ students. Dead quiet.
stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of the humpback whale.
cockstreetboys: how do you circumcise a redneck? kick his sister in the jaw